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Improving Your Relationships — Relationship Dynamics from a Spiritual Perspective – Part I

(Excerpted from “Invisible Blueprints”)

“Love is everything. It is the key to life, and its influences are those that move the world.”

-Ralph Waldo Trine

“Interdependence is and ought to be as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency. Man is a social being.”

-Mohandas K. Gandhi

My Integrative Intuitive Counseling work with clients over the past fifteen-plus years has given me the bird’s-eye view of relationships and the dynamics involved in them from an energetic point of view.

One of the areas in which I had early glimpses of these realizations and lessons in energy is that of relationships, especially romantic relationships. It goes without saying that relationships are very important to most of us and represent an extremely important aspect of our human experience, as Trine and Gandhi above so articulately expressed it. So of course most clients will want information on this area of their lives.

I’ve looked at many, many relationships over the past several years, including those a client was involved in at the time of a session, those from a client’s past, and future relationships. I’ve also looked at nonromantic relationships, including those with friends, parents, children, other family members, work colleagues, etc. I have increasingly gained insight into how relationships work (and why they do work at times and often do not work) and what the causative or contributing factors to the dynamics operative in this aspect of our lives may be. Over time, I gradually saw several factors that I feel influence the dynamics and viability of relationships.

Resonance of Energies

“The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.”

-Carl Jung

“Relationships are like a dance, with visible energy racing back and forth between partners.”

-Colette Dowling

Early on in looking at romantic relationships I was primarily sensing how people’s energies resonated — or didn’t resonate well — and how that energetic resonance between the two of them affected both the dynamics of the relationship and the positive or negative aspects of what the people in the relationship were experiencing. Some people’s energies resonated quite well. Other people’s energies quite simply abraded.

For example, I’ve seen relationships in which one person’s energy was overwhelming the other’s energy. This often leads to the latter person feeling overwhelmed and powerless or constrained, certainly not a pleasant way to feel in a relationship. I’ve also seen relationships in which one person’s energy is warm and expansive and the other person’s energy is cooler or indifferent and/or contracted or narrow. This is also not a good interaction of energies. As telling as these dynamics of energy resonances were, I came to learn in time, however, that there were factors involved other than just the resonance of energies that contributed to whether relationships were good, workable, or true partners or “soul mates.”

Learning Relationships

“How savage is love that plants a flower and uproots a field; that revives us for a day and stuns us for an age!”

-Kahlil Gibran

I soon came to see how people’s inauthentic stuff — their issues — affected the dynamics in a relationship. Because the inauthentic overlay contributes to and affects one’s general energy, this inauthentic stuff will often be part of what is resonating (or abrading) between two people’s energies.

Often the pull between two people will be their “stuff” resonating, rather than who they really are. For example, one of the more common manifestations of this type of resonance occurs when a dependent person who may also be sensitive emotionally and/or come from some sort of abusive background is romantically involved with someone with strong and controlling energy; or when one person who is open emotionally and needs to connect and communicate openly with his/her partner is involved with someone who is closed down or withdrawn emotionally and thus neither available emotionally nor oriented towards truly openly connecting with someone. I have seen instances in which two people’s “stuff” is so complex and mutually resonating that they appear to fit together like a complex system of reciprocal keys fitting into each other’s locks. Often a condition of button-pushing and/or mutual interdependence in an unhealthy manner results from this type of resonance. (Hence, the term codependence.) Relationships of this type often exemplify a mixture of contradictory energies; they may be love/hate relationships or be full of volatility – and are rarely “clear sailing.” They are also frequently quite painful and can be emotionally draining.

This type of relationship, that is based on the inauthentic stuff resonating is often, as you may suspect, doomed to failure. I have seen many clients who were in this type of relationship and who may have stuck it out for years because they have both resistance to and inertia over getting out of the situation. Other clients may extricate themselves in a shorter period of time. If, how, and when these relationships are resolved is usually a function of the individual’s process and growth and his/her readiness for or resistance to change.

Usually when the decision is made to leave the relationship, it is because the person initiating that change has grown personally to the point where the personal lessons from the relationship are learned and the relationship no longer serves a purpose or feels the same. In other words, the resonance is no longer there. (This latter instance is representative of the common phenomenon that, as we learn and grow, we may grow past the people we’ve been close to, if they are not also evolving and growing. Kristen Zambucka described this phenomenon when she stated that, “We outgrow people, places, and things as we unfold. We may be saddened when old friends say their piece and leave our lives…but let them go. They were at a different stage and looking in a different direction.” This can be disconcerting to us, especially if we don’t realize that, if our energies are no longer resonating, any former feeling of closeness usually evaporates — and if we further don’t realize that this “changing of partners” is indicative of something positive in us, i.e., our personal growth.)

Over time and through repeatedly seeing a number of this type of relationship, I came to realize that these relationships that are based on the partners’ inauthentic stuff resonating are what I now call learning relationships. In other words, we often enter into some relationships primarily to learn and grow by working on our inauthentic stuff, and this purpose of learning tends to be the primary raison d’être for this type of relationship. This is distinguished from the soul mate or partner relationship in which we may be stimulating each other’s growth, but it’s not the sole purpose for the relationship.

The positive aspect of learning relationships is that they are often a wonderful catalyst for our growth. Each learning relationship tends to be centered around healing or reworking one or more aspects of our stuff. Put another way, “Each relationship nurtures a strength or weakness within you” (Mike Murdock). And, usually, until we work on whatever the relationship is trying to teach us and we “get” it, we are doomed to keep repeating the lesson; that is, we can have a pattern of serially entering into similar relationships. Recognizing that we have a pattern in relationships can give us the key to realizing that there is something in ourselves to work on. “To understand is to perceive patterns,” Isaiah Berlin wrote — including our own patterns.

If, instead, we don’t recognize that there is something to work on in ourselves we may stay stuck in the pattern for a more prolonged period of time. Often we will then project our unhappiness and blame externally and decry all men or all women as being “worthless,” “unavailable,” etc. — until we learn to figuratively point that finger back towards ourselves and look within to see what we need to work on or change in ourselves. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves” (Jung). Or, as Molière wrote, “One should examine oneself for a long time before thinking of condemning others.”

A variation on this theme of projection and blame centers around those people who are “rescuers.” Rescuers (not an essence type) are often soft-hearted people who are perpetually trying to help and rescue others, sometimes to the extent that they actually believe that that is one of their purposes in life. As with those who project their own stuff outwardly and blame others and things outside of themselves, rescuers often need to figuratively point their fingers back at themselves and look within for what they need to rescue in themselves. A pattern of needing to rescue others often serves to deflect one’s attention from his/her own stuff and what he/she needs to work on within him/herself. As Aldous Huxley wrote, “There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving and that’s your own self.”

Learning relationships, especially those that engage us emotionally in an intense manner, are a strong mechanism by which we can evolve, as we are stimulated more — through the power of emotion — by these often difficult and/or painful relationship experiences. I myself gained a major lesson in self-esteem through a relationship that was dysfunctional and quite difficult. However, the lesson was extremely valuable and was permanently gained — and, indeed, may have been all the more permanently etched in me due to the extent of the difficulty and emotional struggle I went through.

What we stand to gain from relationships such as these will vary from one person to the next and can run the gamut from learning self-esteem, to becoming less passive and dependent, to learning to be more emotionally available, to being more caring, to being less self-absorbed — or even to becoming more discerning about relationships. The lessons can be quite diverse. However, one theme running through these learning relationships is that the universe is drawing attention to our inauthentic “stuff” that keeps us from being who we really are and is asking us to work on it. Not everyone, of course, will work on all, or even any, of his/her stuff in a lifetime because that may indeed be, as previously mentioned, what we are to experience in that lifetime – never getting back to our pure essence (and, also as previously mentioned, not everyone will have much inauthentic stuff to work on or clear).

Interestingly, I’ve seen another mechanism by which these learning relationships operate and that has to do with another factor that induces the two people to be together in a relationship, other than just the resonance of the inauthentic stuff. This factor will often manifest itself as a “pull” between the two people. This pull is often experienced as a sexual attraction, but may also be experienced as a mental or psychic pull: they are just drawn to the other person for some reason and can’t get that person out of his/her mind; or they are continually trying to figure the other person out. (And, yes, this can lead to obsession.)

What I have frequently seen that I find fascinating is that often when the lesson that was a major raison d’être for the relationship is finally learned, the pull between the two of them — sexual attraction, mental conundrum, obsession, or whatever — just disappears as if by magic. I regard this “pull,” however it is expressed and experienced, as a device used by the universe to get us to learn a lesson (by getting us into the relationship that will teach us the lesson). Such an interesting and creative device!

In Part 1 of this article, I discussed relationships from the point of view of how people’s energies resonated and how their energies affected a relationship. I also discussed what I call “Learning Relationships.” Please see Part 1 for this information. Let’s continue with Part 2:

Healing and Purpose-Specific Relationships

“Through Love, thorns become roses,

Vinegar becomes sweet wine,

The stake becomes a thorn,

The reverse of fortune seems good fortune,

A prison becomes a rose bower,”…

-Rumi

“The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love.”

-Hubert H. Humphrey

“Until the Real Thing Comes Along”

-Sammy Cahn

Even though I’ve focused thus far on learning relationships in which the dysfunction or problematic resonates, I’d like to add that certainly not all relationships are learning relationships and, additionally, that not all learning relationships are difficult or unpleasant. Aside from true soul mate relationships that most of us aspire to find and be involved in, there are other types of romantic relationships as well. Some of these other non-soul mate relationships may be pleasant, but don’t have a real “charge” to them, so that the people in them feel comfortable, but don’t feel inspired or really in love. The relationship may be pleasant or comfortable and non-challenging, but may also feel bland. I have seen several clients in relationships like this and have found that there is usually a purpose that this type of relationship serves.

One of the purposes for relationships such as this is to provide a healing aspect or soothing or comforting experience for those involved in the relationship. In other words, one or both of the people involved may have been through a particularly difficult or draining relationship or experience, or even a series of such relationships, and the pleasant but bland relationship affords him/her the opportunity to heal from the other relationship(s). This type of relationship, the healing relationship, thus represents a relationship that affords R and R (rest and relaxation). This gives those involved the opportunity to be in a romantic relationship at the same time that they are healing from the draining relationship or experience, rather than attempting to recoup while alone.

I have further seen other positive relationships, which, even though they are still not the true, partner relationship, serve the purpose of “introducing” a person to the qualities and dynamics of a good relationship, while also allowing him/her to re-pattern his/her normal mode of relating. This may be the first positive relationship a person has ever been in, and the situation allows the person to experience the dynamics of a healthy relationship for the first time, while also sometimes gaining practice being in a good and non-dysfunctional intimate relating situation. Thus, re-patterning relationships such as this, even though they’re not with the true soul mate, serve as a mechanism by which one can re-pattern his/her traditional (and often unhealthy) role in a relationship and can learn instead to play a healthier role and experience more positive dynamics.

Another type of positive, but non-soul mate, relationship occurs when two people are going through similar things or are working (either growth-wise or career-wise) on similar issues. In other words, they are paralleling each other in some way with regard to growth or experience. This type of relationship, the paralleling relationship, affords them support, whether explicit, through mutual discussion of what they’re each going through, or implicit, through an unconscious awareness of their shared experiences, as well as insight on the shared issue(s) they’re going through, as they share experiences with each other. Paralleling relationships can subtly give those in them energy, instead of their being in a difficult learning relationship that could drain their energy.

Some relationships may represent a combination of some of these types of relationships. As you can see from these pleasant, but non-soul mate types of situations, relationships will generally come into existence for a reason, whether we’re aware at the time of what that reason may be or not.

In addition, I have also seen people in non-soul mate or -partner relationships for more mundane reasons. They may have a rational, rather than emotional, reason for being in a certain relationship and may decide to be in the relationship out of a rational motivation. In other words, the mind may be engaged in the relationship, but not the heart. This could be, for example, because the person feels that he or she is ready to get married and/or wants children and just looks for someone to marry. I’ve seen some clients come up with a laundry list of what they want in a marriage partner, based upon external or superficial considerations (e.g., makes a certain income, is a certain height, drives a certain car, lives in a certain type of house, even how they look as a couple to others), rather than what the person is really like either on the inside or in habits or personality traits – or even how they feel about them. I have even seen some clients make a decision to marry someone because that person had one attribute that they wanted in a mate (for instance, a calm and steady temperament), irrespective of the fact that they really felt no emotional connection to or love for their future partner. This type of consideration is often a recipe for a future failed relationship, especially when the emotional component is lacking and there is, in its place, a preference for the rational and feeling-less element in the decision-making process.

I have also seen some clients decide to enter into — and doggedly stay in — relationships for financial security, although this motivation may be understandable for women in a society that has traditionally undervalued women economically. Whether one can stay permanently in such relationships depends upon the person and his/her priorities. However, I have often seen clients in relationships such as this who were miserable and whose hearts were crying out for true resonance and connection. The lessons in these relationships may have to do with independence, going to a deeper level, being true to oneself, or any number of other realizations.

Soul Agreements

The highest compact we can make with our fellow is, — “Let there be truth between us two forevermore.”

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

As I continued to explore different types of relationships, I started to question how they came about, especially the major learning ones in which the experiences may have been so unpleasant and the corresponding lessons gained so profound that it felt that there had to be a reason, or mechanism, behind the two people coming together in such a fashion — a reason or mechanism that existed on a higher level than just the “pull” (sexual, emotional, conundrum, or whatever) that was felt on this three-dimensional level. In other words, I felt that there had to be some additional, invisible factor bringing this type of situation about, other than two people whose stuff fit together so intricately and perfectly just meeting each other by chance or randomly — a factor that existed perhaps on a higher level. As I started to ask for insight about this, I began to get information on what I now call “soul agreements.”

A “soul agreement” is an agreement made between souls while not in body (i.e., before the lifetime that the agreement is about) to encounter each other in a lifetime, interact (whether in a romantic, familial, friendship, work, or other type of way), and affect each other in some fashion, usually for learning, sharing, supporting, or otherwise stimulating each other’s growth or unfolding. As with difficult learning relationships, the soul agreement may be to stimulate each other’s working on his/her inauthentic stuff.

There are many different types of soul agreements. For example, some soul agreements exist for just one specific lifetime. I have seen other soul agreements that ran through several lifetimes. I have seen both soul agreements that are for a very specific purpose (as a case in point, that the people involved will meet at a specific time in their lives to accomplish a specific thing) and others that are for more general purposes (for example, that the people involved will have a lifelong acquaintance with each other that is pleasant and mutually beneficial). I have seen soul agreements in which the souls have agreed to always interact throughout lifetimes for the same purpose or lesson and others in which the souls always interact, but the way in which it is expressed and the purpose it serves may vary from one lifetime to another. To illustrate this point, some souls may agree to always interact in an antagonistic way to stimulate each other’s growth, while others may vary the qualitative feel of the interaction over lifetimes, experiencing a congenial connection in some lifetimes and a more abrasive or antagonistic connection in others.

Hence soul agreements are made in the non-corporeal state when we choose and plan our lives and represent a behind-the-scenes factor for our involvement and interaction with others in the here and now, and, because they are mutual agreements on the soul level, there is no “blame” or judgment attached to the interactions, even if they are negative or unpleasant in any way.

With thousands of workers being laid off, the competition for jobs should be strong. A career counselor may be able to help people become more focused and strategic about their job search.

Most people would probably rather get a root canal than hunt for a new job. Whether a person has been downsized, is changing careers, or just wants to find a better opportunity, hunting for a job can be frustrating and intimidating. And since more than 230,000 people have lost their jobs this year, the competition for employment is likely to be fierce. People who want to increase their odds for getting hired may want to consider finding a career counselor.

What Career Counselors Do
Career counselors can help people evaluate their skills and abilities to find a job that fits their goals and interests. They serve as coaches, teachers, and mentors to people with all different types of job experience. A qualified counselor should be able to assess a client’s traits and abilities to help direct them to an appropriate position. They also should be good listeners who can communicate well with people who may be dealing with a lot of stress and uncertainty about their job situation–and life in general.

Some career counselors may have a degree in counseling or a related field, but others may have experience in a particular field that gives them the expertise to help others. A master career counselor usually has the highest level of expertise in career counseling and has met other qualifications, such as being licensed by a state board.

Who Should Consider Counseling?
Not everyone looking to change jobs needs to see a career counselor. But people who aren’t sure where they’re headed in their careers and need help focusing may benefit from working with a coach. Workers who are thinking about getting help with their career should ask themselves:

1. Am I satisfied with my current job?
2. What do I like or dislike about my current job?
3. How can I improve my current job?
4. Do I have the work-life balance I want?
5. What are my short- and long-term goals for my career?
6. What other jobs can I qualify for with my skills?

Downsized in America
People who haven’t had to look for a job in many years may be ill-equipped for their search and may be perfect candidates for career counseling. Companies all across America are cutting jobs, forcing many workers to dust off outdated resumes. A qualified counselor can help put together a resume, practice interviewing techniques, administer assessment tests, or evaluate new career paths. The right coach can help a person evaluate jobs they’ve never considered that may allow them to use their current skills.

Changing Careers
For people who are looking for a whole new career, a counselor can help them decide whether they have the necessary skills or need to continue their education. Some people may find that the type of work they’ve been doing has become obsolete. Many unskilled workers have found themselves forced out of jobs that can be done by a computer or a machine. A good career counselor should listen to workers’ needs and assess their strengths and weaknesses to help them transition to a new career. That may mean directing clients to places they can learn about new technology or employment trends in fields that interest them.

Getting Encouragement
Richard Nelson Bolles writes in What Color Is Your Parachute? 2008: A Practical Manual for Job-hunters and Career-Changers that “Researchers discovered some years ago that while the typical job-hunt lasted around fifteen to nineteen weeks, depending on the economy, one-third to one-half of all job-hunters simply give up by the second month of their job-hunt.” Having the support of a career counselor may help some people stay focused on their job search and not become easily discouraged. The right coach can also redirect job-hunting efforts that have stalled or become unproductive.

Moving to the Next Level
Always being passed over for promotions is like going to a spring fling and never being asked to dance. It’s no fun! Workers who are having trouble advancing in their career may need some help figuring out exactly what they need to do differently to get noticed by higher ups. For some people it may be as simple as taking a few courses to learn necessary skills. Others may need advice from a career coach on how to dress, talk, or act more professionally.

Setting Career Goals
Counselors can also be helpful if people just want to make sure they are setting the right goals for their career. They may not be looking to change companies, but may be more concerned about protecting their future job security. A person who hasn’t bothered to keep abreast of changes in their industry, learn new skills, or network with influential peers are more likely to fall under the downsizing axe than someone who has worked to remain competitive.

Choosing the Right Counselor
It’s important for people to find a career counselor that fits their goals and is reputable. A good counselor should:

1. Disclose the terms of their service and fees upfront
2. Provide a copy of their ethical guidelines
3. Charge only for services provided
4. Let clients choose the services they want
5. Not make unrealistic promises.

They should also discuss what type of time commitment clients should expect to make to their counseling sessions and job-hunting strategies.

While career counselors can be helpful they may not have all the answers. They can help individuals assess their strengths and weaknesses to choose a career that fits their unique goals and needs. Like any other counseling relationship, it may take more than one try to find the right person. People looking for a career coach can check with their former employer, local job centers, universities, alumni groups, churches, and other organizations for recommendations.

Having a home business career has become a real possibility with the dawn of the Internet. This brought about the beginning of a new way of life for many people. Instead of struggling to make ends meet with a low paying job, now you can have a business career at home by operating your own Internet business. This is not a difficult task and the cost of getting everything set up is not at all high. You can stay at home, work when you like and dress how you like with a home business career.

Many people shy away from the idea of a home business career because they feel it means door-to-door selling or managing home parties to sell products. With the advances in technology, you can have your own turnkey Internet business with just the click of your mouse. Getting started with this type of Internet home business does mean you have to do a little research to find out what it is that consumers want to buy.

Online shopping makes it possible for you to have an Internet home business career that you operate from home. With the convenience of the online retailers being open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, more and more consumers shop for just about everything they need through the Internet. An online pharmacy, for example, is a very profitable type of turnkey Internet business as is selling hard to find products, such as plus size clothing.

The wealth of information available on the Internet about various turnkey businesses and how you can get started right away is overwhelming. You do need to find a home business career in something that you really love, whether it is jewelry, address labels, or hot tubs. Anything and everything is sold on the Internet and setting up your own website is the first step involved in having your own home business career. You can write articles to lead in to each product and link to another company if you wish to become an affiliate and make money this way. Either way, a turnkey Internet business is profitable.

You do have to be patient because success with a turnkey Internet business does not happen overnight. You do have to build up the website in the search engine rankings so that people looking for the product you sell will find it. In addition to setting up your own home business career with an Internet site, you can have Google ads that pay you every time someone clicks through on one of them. Having a home business career is an excellent way to have more leisure time, but you do have to put in time getting it started.

So if you want a home business career an internet home business is a very viable alternative.

Many of us are upset and frustrated with our current jobs. The low pay and sense of being undervalued drive many of us to dream of our own businesses. However, the costs combines with the risk factors stops most of us in our tracks. Affiliate marketing is a way for people to work for themselves with no risk. There is no cost to you and you’re paid on performance. However, today one has to be careful. There are plenty of scammers and con artists out there that are more than happy to take you money and hard work off of you. Unfortunately, affiliate marketing is not immune to these scammers. Daily, people are taken in by promises of big money with relatively little effort. In this article we will teach you some of the signs to look for and tell you how to spot a scam.

When you join an affiliate marketing scheme, you either going to sell a product or a service. With products, you usually have a choice and range to sell. How you decide to do this is largely up to you. You could also sell a service. Web page designs as well as increasing sales and internet traffic are all examples of services offered by affiliate marketing programs.

How many times have you seen as ad on the internet promising huge earnings? Things like “Earn 1000$ a day” or Join our program now and become a millionaire. If your look closely at these ads they are not actually selling anything. Any company that is just selling the opportunity to make money is likely a scam. True, some affiliate marketing companies will have attention grabbing headlines like the ones mentioned above. However, if you go on to read the ad and information, there will likely be a detailed description of what they company sells. They will also have a disclaimer and terms and conditions listed.

These companies that offer, the opportunity to make money are likely pyramid schemes. The only people paying money in are the ones actually joining. There is no income being created, just money being passed from person to person. Not only are these scams and you’ll loose what you invested, they are also illegal and you can face prosecution.

Another thing to watch out for is no free participation. If you have to pay to join then you may have stumbled upon a scam or what is known as a multilevel marketing program. Multi-level marketing programs are completely legal and some people make good livings out of them. However, if you’re not successful you may end up purchasing a bunch of products that you cannot sell.

True affiliate programs are free. That is part of their attraction. There are no costs to you and they should also be risk free. Any Affiliate marketing programs that demands your money is not an affiliate program. You should ask yourself why they are misrepresenting themselves this way if they are legitimate.

Many of us dream of being our own bosses. We would love to be able to take control of our lives and careers. The attraction of answering only to you combined with setting your own working hours and committing what your choose bring loads of people into the affiliate marketing schemes. Affilaite marketing can be an excellent way for a highly motivated, creative person to make an excellent living. There are some wonderful programs out there just waiting to be joined. However, for every great program there is likely one that is fraudulent. Con artists operate in many areas and unfortunate affiliate marketing is not immune.

Before joining, check to see what the company is selling. If they are not selling goods or services then they are likely an illegal pyramid scheme. If they require your own money to get started then they are what are known as a multi level marketing program. Affiliate marketing can be a great opportunity but you need to do your homework.

Federal

Owing to multiple blizzards in Washington, Congress started its President’s Day recess a full week early and conducted no official business last week. However, there was some legislative drama as Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pulled the rug out from under Finance Committee Chairman Max Baucus by scrapping the Baucus jobs bill (without warning), which contained many health insurance items, and replacing it with a stripped down, narrow jobs bill. Whether the health items Baucus originally inserted with Republican help will make it back to the table remains fuzzy. Among the health items that have been dropped are: the COBRA eligibility extension (to May 31); the “doc fix” (to October, 2010) of Medicare reimbursement rates; and the favorable statutory direction to CMS to calculate the 2011 Medicare Advantage rates “as if” the doc fix were in place.

States

California health insurance The Office of Patient Advocacy released a report card on the state’s HMOs last week. Aetna received 3 out of 4 stars. The goal of the report card is to allow consumers to compare how well health plans use personal medical records and help address conditions such as asthma, arthritis and diabetes.

COLORADO: Governor Bill Ritter held a press conference to announce what he calls “the next round of reforms that represent common sense.” His legislative package includes bills to preclude insurance companies from charging different rates due to a person’s gender, ensure that women have access to breast cancer screening, assure plain language is used in insurance forms, standardize insurance applications and explanations of benefits, and encourage greater use of online tools to enroll people in public programs. Apart from the Governor’s proposals, a bill that would establish a public option was also introduced.

CONNECTICUT: In a short legislative session of only three months, the Insurance & Real Estate Committee wasted no time in putting forth an agenda that includes many concept drafts for repeat legislation from previous sessions. These include prohibiting health insurance copayments for preventive care, limiting prescription drug copayments, prohibiting Social Security disability payment offsets, and exempting the Municipal Employees Health Insurance Plans from the premium tax on small group premiums. In addition, the committee reintroduced legislation that includes nearly a dozen new health benefit mandates. The Council for Affordable Health Insurance, an independent think-tank, says that health insurance mandates could increase premiums in Connecticut by more than 50 percent overall.

GEORGIA: A bill was proposed last week that would impose significant restrictions on insurers’ ability to rescind health insurance policies. Aetna, through the Georgia Association of Health Plans and AHIP, met with the legislator sponsoring the bill to express concerns with the bill.

INDIANA: The legislative session is at halftime, and the insurance agenda is now limited. Most insurance issue bills are officially dead, including a bill that would have prohibited health plan provisions requiring a contracted provider to accept more than a certain number of patients; coverage for dialysis treatment regardless of whether the facility is contracted or not and without certain benefit restrictions; and a bill that would have allowed out-of-network assignment of benefits. However, Aetna is expecting that a bill requiring insurer and HMO annual reporting of premium cost composition, including administrative costs, may be resurrected. A bill that restricts dental insurers and HMOs from establishing fee schedules for non-covered services passed the Senate, with our amendment to accommodate most of the key concerns expressed by opponents of the bill. As the bill stands, dental insurance plans may impose fee schedules for covered services, regardless of whether the plan actually pays for the services rendered.

KANSAS: An amended version of S.B. 389 related to dental services passed the Senate Financial Institutions and Insurance Committee on February 11. The amended bill prohibits any contract between a health insurer that offers a health benefit plan and a dentist from containing a provision that requires the dentist to accept a fee schedule for services unless the service is a covered service. Committee amendments added to the definition of a “health benefit plan” the following: any subscription agreement issued by a non-profit dental service corporation; any policy of health insurance purchased by an individual; the state children’s health insurance plan; and the state medical assistance program under Medicaid. We will continue to update you as this bill progresses and hope to make favorable changes as the bill moves through the House.

MASSACHUSETTS: Governor Deval Patrick filed a 40-page bill that proposes giving the insurance commissioner the power to hold public hearings on rate adjustments and essentially cap health care price increases. Rate increases for individuals would be held to the rate of medical inflation; those sold to employers with 50 or fewer workers could not exceed one and a half times the level of medical inflation. The legislation would also impose a two-year moratorium on any new health benefit mandates. Legislative leaders praised the intent of the governor’s plan but declined to promise support. Strong opposition is expected from medical provider groups. The Governor simultaneously announced emergency regulations to take immediate effect that will require health insurers to submit proposed small business rate increases for review by the state 30 days before they take effect. Several other proposed provisions include a requirement that insurers offer at least one coverage plan with a limited network of health care providers costing at least 10 percent less than health plans with access to more physicians. The Massachusetts Association of Health plans is lobbying in support of a bill introduced by Senate Insurance Chair Richard Moore that would create a cheaper health insurance product for small employers by capping payments to providers at just 10 percent above Medicare rates. The Massachusetts Medical Society is against that proposal.

MISSOURI: An autism coverage mandate bill was amended and “perfected” by the Senate and then sent to the Government Accountability and Fiscal Oversight Committee from which it must emerge before returning to the floor of the Senate. In addition to two mandate-related amendments, a third amendment to the bill allowing for limited cross border sales of health insurance also passed. In its current form, the bill contains a mandated offering of the coverage in the individual market. Coverage is limited to treatment ordered by a licensed physician or psychologist whose treatment plan the carrier is entitled to review every six months. Coverage for applied behavior analysis (ABA) is limited to $52,000 annually (down from the $72,000 as introduced) for persons under age 21. Meanwhile in the House, a bill containing significant language relating to the credentialing of autism service providers also passed. The bill also contains a mandate to offer coverage in the individual market and to groups of fewer than 25. Groups of 25 to 50 would be entitled to an exemption from the mandate if they could demonstrate an increase in premiums tied to the mandate. The bill limits annual coverage of ABA ($36,000 for children ages 3-9; $20,000 for children ages 9-21). Aetna will continue to monitor the status of these mandates, but it appears fairly clear at this point that something will pass on the issue of autism.

NEW JERSEY: Last week Governor Chris Christie declared a fiscal state of emergency calling a special session of the legislature to lay out his plan for dealing with state’s current $2.2 billion budget shortfall. His plan calls for significant cuts or eliminations across 375 state programs and withholding $500 million of state education aid. Of note on the program side is a $12.6 million reduction in Charity Care funding to hospitals, which pays for care to uninsured residents. In legislative action, the Assembly Financial Institutions and Insurance Committee held a three-hour public hearing on out-of-network reimbursement. Much of the hearing focused on the markedly higher billing practices of ambulatory surgery centers and one non-par hospital. Aetna presented testimony regarding its experience with the non-par hospital, citing their disparate year-over-year increase in charges compared to other similarly situated hospitals. Chairman Schaer indicated the committee will work over the next several months to craft a solution.

NEW YORK: With Democratic Senator Hiram Monserrate officially expelled from the Senate, the Democratic majority (31-30) now faces an uphill battle getting the 32 votes needed to pass legislation. However, both the Senate and the Assembly moved forward with a public hearing on the Executive Budget proposal for health, including the section mandating the prior approval of rate adjustments. The Health Plan Association testified on behalf of the industry. If enacted, Governor Paterson’s proposal for an 85 percent medical loss ratio and a prior approval hearing process for all rate adjustments would essentially amount to government control of health insurance, undermining the private health insurance market in New York. Price controls would weaken health plan solvency, hurt providers and virtually eliminate innovation and efficiency. At the same time, the proposal ignores the underlying cause of the increasing cost of health insurance — the increase in the actual costs of health care services.

OKLAHOMA: The second session of the 52nd Oklahoma Legislature convened in Oklahoma City on February 1. Legislators quickly turned to the state’s $1.3 billion budget deficit described by Governor Brad Henry (D) in his eighth and final state of the state address and FY 2011 executive budget. During his address, the Governor focused on his plans for resolving the $1.3 billion budget deficit through precise budget cuts. His only reference to health insurance was to encourage the expansion of Insure Oklahoma, a program developed by the state in partnership with small employers to provide affordable health coverage. The legislature is scheduled to adjourn on May 28 but only after addressing a range of legislation including several bills of interest to Aetna.

SOUTH DAKOTA: A dental fee schedule bill (S.B. 108) unanimously passed the Senate Commerce Committee and is expected to be taken up by the full Senate early this week. The bill prohibits any contract between a health insurer that offers a health benefit plan and a dentist from containing a provision that requires the dentist to accept a fee schedule for services unless the service is a covered service. Aetna will continue to follow the bill’s progress as it progresses.

TENNESSEE: Several bills have been proposed that would make changes to the state’s external review law. Aetna and other industry representatives will be meeting with the Tennessee Department of Commerce and Insurance regarding its proposed changes to the external review law. The bill proposed by the TDCI most closely mirrors the model legislation proposed by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

UTAH: The Speaker of the House has introduced a health reform bill addressing health information technology, individual and small group market reforms and transparency. The overarching theme of the reforms is micromanagement of rates and rating factors, and a broadening of the Insurance Commissioner’s authority. The transparency provisions apply plan designs and benefit descriptions submitted by carriers, and would require providers to make available, upon request, a price list for services on both an inpatient and outpatient basis.

Many of us are upset and frustrated with our current jobs. The low pay and sense of being undervalued drive many of us to dream of our own businesses. However, the costs combines with the risk factors stops most of us in our tracks. Affiliate marketing is a way for people to work for themselves with no risk. There is no cost to you and you’re paid on performance. However, today one has to be careful. There are plenty of scammers and con artists out there that are more than happy to take you money and hard work off of you. Unfortunately, affiliate marketing is not immune to these scammers. Daily, people are taken in by promises of big money with relatively little effort. In this article we will teach you some of the signs to look for and tell you how to spot a scam.

When you join an affiliate marketing scheme, you either going to sell a product or a service. With products, you usually have a choice and range to sell. How you decide to do this is largely up to you. You could also sell a service. Web page designs as well as increasing sales and internet traffic are all examples of services offered by affiliate marketing programs.

How many times have you seen as ad on the internet promising huge earnings? Things like “Earn 1000$ a day” or Join our program now and become a millionaire. If your look closely at these ads they are not actually selling anything. Any company that is just selling the opportunity to make money is likely a scam. True, some affiliate marketing companies will have attention grabbing headlines like the ones mentioned above. However, if you go on to read the ad and information, there will likely be a detailed description of what they company sells. They will also have a disclaimer and terms and conditions listed.

These companies that offer, the opportunity to make money are likely pyramid schemes. The only people paying money in are the ones actually joining. There is no income being created, just money being passed from person to person. Not only are these scams and you’ll loose what you invested, they are also illegal and you can face prosecution.

Another thing to watch out for is no free participation. If you have to pay to join then you may have stumbled upon a scam or what is known as a multilevel marketing program. Multi-level marketing programs are completely legal and some people make good livings out of them. However, if you’re not successful you may end up purchasing a bunch of products that you cannot sell.

True affiliate programs are free. That is part of their attraction. There are no costs to you and they should also be risk free. Any Affiliate marketing programs that demands your money is not an affiliate program. You should ask yourself why they are misrepresenting themselves this way if they are legitimate.

Many of us dream of being our own bosses. We would love to be able to take control of our lives and careers. The attraction of answering only to you combined with setting your own working hours and committing what your choose bring loads of people into the affiliate marketing schemes. Affilaite marketing can be an excellent way for a highly motivated, creative person to make an excellent living. There are some wonderful programs out there just waiting to be joined. However, for every great program there is likely one that is fraudulent. Con artists operate in many areas and unfortunate affiliate marketing is not immune.

Before joining, check to see what the company is selling. If they are not selling goods or services then they are likely an illegal pyramid scheme. If they require your own money to get started then they are what are known as a multi level marketing program. Affiliate marketing can be a great opportunity but you need to do your homework.

Learn more about how to be a super affiliate and earn an affiliate rockstar status, check out Affiliate Rockstar Status

Many of us are upset and frustrated with our current jobs. The low pay and sense of being undervalued drive many of us to dream of our own businesses. However, the costs combines with the risk factors stops most of us in our tracks. Affiliate marketing is a way for people to work for themselves with no risk. There is no cost to you and you’re paid on performance. However, today one has to be careful. There are plenty of scammers and con artists out there that are more than happy to take you money and hard work off of you. Unfortunately, affiliate marketing is not immune to these scammers. Daily, people are taken in by promises of big money with relatively little effort. In this article we will teach you some of the signs to look for and tell you how to spot a scam.

When you join an affiliate marketing scheme, you either going to sell a product or a service. With products, you usually have a choice and range to sell. How you decide to do this is largely up to you. You could also sell a service. Web page designs as well as increasing sales and internet traffic are all examples of services offered by affiliate marketing programs.

How many times have you seen as ad on the internet promising huge earnings? Things like “Earn 1000$ a day” or Join our program now and become a millionaire. If your look closely at these ads they are not actually selling anything. Any company that is just selling the opportunity to make money is likely a scam. True, some affiliate marketing companies will have attention grabbing headlines like the ones mentioned above. However, if you go on to read the ad and information, there will likely be a detailed description of what they company sells. They will also have a disclaimer and terms and conditions listed.

These companies that offer, the opportunity to make money are likely pyramid schemes. The only people paying money in are the ones actually joining. There is no income being created, just money being passed from person to person. Not only are these scams and you’ll loose what you invested, they are also illegal and you can face prosecution.

Another thing to watch out for is no free participation. If you have to pay to join then you may have stumbled upon a scam or what is known as a multilevel marketing program. Multi-level marketing programs are completely legal and some people make good livings out of them. However, if you’re not successful you may end up purchasing a bunch of products that you cannot sell.

True affiliate programs are free. That is part of their attraction. There are no costs to you and they should also be risk free. Any Affiliate marketing programs that demands your money is not an affiliate program. You should ask yourself why they are misrepresenting themselves this way if they are legitimate.

Many of us dream of being our own bosses. We would love to be able to take control of our lives and careers. The attraction of answering only to you combined with setting your own working hours and committing what your choose bring loads of people into the affiliate marketing schemes. Affilaite marketing can be an excellent way for a highly motivated, creative person to make an excellent living. There are some wonderful programs out there just waiting to be joined. However, for every great program there is likely one that is fraudulent. Con artists operate in many areas and unfortunate affiliate marketing is not immune.

Before joining, check to see what the company is selling. If they are not selling goods or services then they are likely an illegal pyramid scheme. If they require your own money to get started then they are what are known as a multi level marketing program. Affiliate marketing can be a great opportunity but you need to do your homework.

“Exponentially Grow Your Sales, Website Traffic, Conversions and Business — 100% GUARANTEED!”

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One of my college roommates had a brother who was a graduate business student and often visited our rooms. Since one of my possible career choices was to work in business, I asked this business student many questions about his studies and career choices. Everything he said expanded my knowledge and made me more interested in a business career.

This information meant a lot to me because I grew up in a small city where there were only two large employers, the Santa Fe Railway and the U.S. Air Force. Neither organization provided opportunities to learn about executive success in a large corporation.

When I began graduate business studies, I was pretty smug, thinking that I knew just what needed to be done: Get a prestigious degree and wait for highly attractive employers to bid for my services.

Talking with the other business students made me realize that I had a lot to learn about career success. I didn’t even understand what executives did in different industries.

My complacent eyes were opened wide one day when a management consultant from the famous McKinsey firm made a presentation. At the end of the discussion, I asked one of the other students who got to do what this presenter did for a living. My classmate quickly responded, “Strategy consultants.” I asked, “What’s a strategy consultant?” He responded that these were people who worked for McKinsey or The Boston Consulting Group. I remembered those answers and later applied to both firms, not quite knowing what to expect.

Even with all of this knowledge, I was totally unclear about how you went from being a management consultant to having a successful business career working for a large corporation. I guessed that someday a client might hire you. And that’s what did happen to me after I became a strategy consultant.

The key lesson from my experience is that you can have a wonderful education at a university and still lack important knowledge about the most fundamental elements of developing your business career.

Students typically prefer to get information about potential careers from fellow students and professors, but research shows that students and professors provide incomplete information. It’s better to also speak with people who have been developing a career for a decade or so to find out what lessons they learned in the school of hard knocks.

I was recently reminded of this source of information to make more effective business career plans when I corresponded with Dr. Robert Hartinger, a banking executive in Germany who is a Ph.D. graduate of Rushmore University. Dr. Hartinger kindly agreed to share his career experiences and lessons with me so that I could pass them along to you.

Dr. Hartinger started off presuming that the quality of your education was very important to career success. After graduating from his business program at a German university, he soon learned that you have few occasions to apply any of the theoretical knowledge that most schools provide. As a result, new graduates are stuffed full of knowledge and theory that has little relevance to what their employers need.

Instead, degrees qualify people to be considered for certain jobs. Many employers pride themselves on hiring from certain schools and restricting top jobs to those with the most advanced graduate degrees.

Traditional schooling provides few insights into what various industries and types of jobs are like. If students aren’t careful, they’ll seek a type of work that they won’t like. There are two alternatives available:

1. Examine industries and jobs carefully to set the right objectives.

2. Study at a school where you get practical experience in applying theoretical knowledge which gives you a sense of what a career doing that work might be like.

Dr. Hartinger doesn’t rule out the first alternative, but he’s confident that the second one is essential. If possible do both, but at least do the second. From what you learn, he also recommends that you focus on just a few opportunities. Otherwise, your attention and energies will be too widely scattered.

A lot of business success depends on your personality. That’s something that graduate schools often ignore. Outgoing people with pleasing, helpful personalities will do a lot better than grumpy, self-absorbed geniuses who rarely talk to anyone.

Many studies show that the ability to connect to other people in the organization greatly helps both job effectiveness and advancement. Why? It’s simple: You can’t know all of the answers, but with help from others you can do a great job.

But it’s not enough to simply be a connection point within the organization. You also need to add skills that improve your effectiveness.

Here’s where online learning can make a difference. People don’t care where you learn a skill; they are just pleased when you add one that’s relevant to your situation.

Today, many companies offer financial assistance for those who wish to learn new skills. When that assistance is provided over the Internet, costs are reduced and you can take more courses than those who enroll in classroom-based courses. In addition, learning while you work allows you the chance to apply what you are learning. In that way, you can sift through lots of theoretical knowledge to get just what you need. Dr. Hartinger also notes that if an online school offers flexibility in designing courses, your skill improvement can be even greater.

Popping up everywhere now on the internet are new home business opportunities. There seems to be a new product every second day. The need has arisen to review this great number of new home business ideas. Here is a set of secrets to helping the potential home business owner to decide how to make the best decision and not get scammed.

1)The 1 in 12 rule: It is an unfortunate fact, that roughly 1 in 12 of the home business opportunities out there are simply scams, and reviews by experts have shown this to be the case. Often their blueprints just don’t work. This is a quick statistic that should incite you to be careful when selecting the home business model that is right for you, and when you are being offered one of the many home start-up packages out there. Of course, about 10% of the offers are absolutely valid, and they do deliver.

2)The Lure of Wealth: This is often the trick used to completely fool the prospect into buying the offer. Many of the website owners out there will show an extravagant wealth mask, and they will give the impression that they made millions, however this is not to be trusted. Seeing this, many people are blinded and miss the bigger picture. Often it is just an empty promise, without any real workable method of making money.

3)The Quick Money E-Book: An e-book is an easy to make one time document, and often it is seen that home business promoters only offer a one time e-book offer. This is the core of a get-quick-rich scheme. The webmaster will promise big things, and ask for a one time payment, and that is the end of the relationship. If home businesses could succeed by simply buying an e-book, there would be a hell of a lot more successes out there today. However as home business reviews have shown, over 95% of businesses fail. It strongly points toward need for a longer term plan, support network and personal effort.

4)Real Skills Training: In order to achieve success in a home business, it is necessary to attain specialized home business knowledge. Home business reviews on the net have shown that the knowledge that is so often delivered for people’s dollars falls below the level required, and the knowledge is not well managed or well directed. People out there have massive potential to do well in their own business, and it has been proven that they only need some special support as well as individual willingness to make it from idea to success.

5)Honesty and Guarantees: This speaks for itself. The legitimate websites on the internet that provide guarantees are the most trustworthy, and often they will give the prospect a timeframe to give it a try. This is the kind of promise to look out for. This is so because you know then that it is not a scam, and you will be in control of the level of success you can achieve. If it was not for you after the time frame, you will get your money back.

It is hoped that the above pointers will help some of you real home business prospects to choose wisely. ®All Rights Reserved